wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
