It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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