At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
