erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
