All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
