Me. At least after what I've been through.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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