great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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