Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
