how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
