1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
