I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
