The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
