Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
should my penis look like a turkey
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
