I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
