i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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