What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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