I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
