He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
