im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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