Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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