and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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