i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I look better un-naked...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
