Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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