so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
