see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Randomize
