it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
