omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
