omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
