This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
