Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
