just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
