Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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