I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
