well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
