I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
