I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Randomize
