their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
