yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
