i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
