i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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