last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
This girl is more easily done than said...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just want to make out with him forever
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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