Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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