So drunk its hurt
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
