He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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