I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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