Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
