I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
