i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
