i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just gargled with NyQuil
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
