yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
